spouting it out....

2007-08-25T02:14:00.002+05:30

For Ammuamma,

FUNERAL BLUES

Stop all the clocks, ,cut off the telephone.

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling in the sky the message He is Dead,

Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last forever, I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-W.H.AUDEN

2006-08-16T20:37:00.002+05:30

MEGH, MALHAR ET AL 1...

i wanted to start this post out by writing about Malhar , about all the work, the fun we had, the friends i made , the things i learnt ... but a backlog of sleep and a sense of extreme nostalgia creeps over me and i cant get myself to do it right now ..

instead i shall just quote AK ... need i say more ?!

... " i am a vegetarian not because i love animals but because i hate plants!!!!"

" beer is god's way of showing us he loves us and wants us to stay happy!"

"impotency; natures way of saying ' sorry. no hard feelings' " ( ooh this kills me!)

... and the best of them all.... " the hypothalamous is responsible for the four F's - fighting, fleeing, feeding and mating!!"

2006-07-15T01:33:00.000+05:30

STRONG WORDS FROM A BORED SOUL ......

out of sheer laziness and a off-late rather busy life , i am posting my assignmnet for the feminism course i took up last year ....

One cause that I think is feminist and I am willing to fight for is better laws for the protection of women. The women’s empowerment movement has begun in India and with it, contrary to popular belief, crimes against women have risen. Although women are more aware of their rights today and are also more likely to file complaints that would otherwise have been hushed up, the system has changed little. Laws continue to be ineffective and archaic. The judiciary is still rooted in beliefs that belong to two centuries back, lawyers continue to humiliate victims and society still largely remains prejudiced against women.
Studies have shown that along with women gaining economic power and a better position in households, crime against women has also steadily increased, possibly due to men’s insecurities about their traditional position being threatened. While this maybe a reason that is attributed to crimes occurring in the wake of a globalising nation, crimes against women in India (as also in other cultures) have always existed. These are not restricted to the more violent forms such as rape but also those that have continued for years shrouded in secrecy in homes of ordinary people, where women here have been burnt for dowry, kept starved, beaten up, been assaulted, and mentally harassed. A lot of this has to do with the fact that a common factor running across different cultures in India is the ‘need’ for men to control a woman’s sexuality. A lot of crimes are exercised in the name of controlling women. While this itself is shocking, what is horrifying is the way women have not only been conditioned into accepting this as just but also the fact that women themselves are trained into being a part of this process, while ekta kapoor serials might be retrograde and complete crap, their standard fare of saas- bahu quarrels do stem from a some aspect of reality!
The fact that these crimes enjoy some sort of social support is also the reason why it is the victim who has to deal with social stigma that is attached with these crimes, it is also the reason why when most cases come to court, attempts are made to prove the victim as being one who ‘invited’ the crime on herself. The fact that courts allow a questioning of the victims sexual history and also question what clothes the woman wore at the time of the crime to see if they were provocative or not is testimony to the fact that the judiciary itself is not free from prejudice and reinforces these appalling social norms.
But the greatest mistake the judiciary makes by allowing this sort of questioning is the creation of a myth that a mans sexual impulses are beyond his control and that when provoked he will respond. This not only absolves men from any responsibility of the crime but also leads them to believe that the fault lay not with them but the victim. All this along with a horrible management of evidence collected (in most cases) contributes to a low conviction rate. Further, courts stretch these cases for years on end and often, ultimately the victim out of extreme frustration and the need to put a particularly horrifying chapter of their life behind them decide to call off the case. Thus, what is happening today is that most of the time victims of such crimes decide against registering cases, for ultimately little happens to the perpetrators of such crimes while the brunt of it all is faced by the victim.
What the government must do here is to take concrete steps that would give substantial results. Simply organizing conferences and celebrating women’s day will not help improve the condition of women in India. Laws need to be improved. Rape laws especially, they are far too old and do not take into account several aspects of such crimes. The rape law in India for instance only recognizes forced penis –vaginal intercourse as rape, it does not account for the forced performance of fellatio or cunnilingus. Fast track courts must be introduced and taped testimony of victims should also be allowed, further the sentence for rape should be increased and the courts should entertain no pleas of the offender marrying the victim!
But its not just about the more horrific crimes like rape, eve teasing and sexual molestation are crimes that women are faced with on almost a daily basis in India. Delhi besides being the capital has developed quite a reputation for itself in this regard, but its not just Delhi anymore, rural areas and other urban cities are following suit, making traveling in public transport, walking alone or driving alone, a living hell for women in India. While there are several women who will protest these crimes, most times one has to back down when encountered by large groups, what would be ideal here was if people came to the help of women , but as well all know this seldom happens, appallingly, if you do stand up to these men you often become the object of ridicule! Men and women have to realize that backing down only gives these cowards an added impetus to carry on.. One must fight back and report these crimes. On the part of the police, severe action must be taken against offenders , simply keeping them overnight will no help, once again, the term served for the crime must be increased substantially and a strong message that this will not be tolerated must be sent out.
Feminism has and always will be about basic equality, its popular form has always focused on women’s rights and for good reason. One cannot move onto the question of ensuring equality for various diverse groups in society until the non-male half of the world population occupies an equal position. In recent days, political representation, equal economic opportunities and bettering social positions have become the focal point of the movement however it is all redundant if the basic safety of women cannot be ensured. It is therefore that I believe that although all around we may see symbols of women’s progress we must see the larger picture and recognize ground realities and work.. hard, very hard towards ensuring the safety of women in India so that they may progress without fear.

2006-03-30T00:53:00.000+05:30

SMOKIN!!

A random second time scanning of the paper yesterday brought me to a rather amusing article on the ban on smoking in scotland and since i could think of nothing else to blog on i shall plaguarise, well not really, great minds do think alike and it is only a coincidence that journalists from The Guardian and i share thematic concerns in our articles!
i come from a circle of friends who smoke , so i write this post in the face of a great deal of threat to my social life , well not really , my school friends , tried and have decided that they cannot do anything about my very 'loser-ish' attitude towards fags, my bombay pals are still trying..
for them and my close pals( u know who you are!) I write.. WHY...
i have for as long as i can rememeber detested smoking , this probably had something to do with the fact that a few moments spent in the presence of smoker ushered me into a week full of gut renching coughs( i had bronchtis) ,but i believe that it had more to do with my revulsion for the smell; its smells of a mixture of scorched hair and something else that i cant quite put my finger on right now ( about the smell of scorched hair .. i know it from bitter experience, but that story is for another time!). the point is it is a horrid smell and one that i am yet to get used to,(it also seems to have an inexplicable affinity towards human hair)
but more seriously, i have a major problem with smoking , this is primarily because, unlike other self destructing habbits such as alcholism or drug abuse, smoking is not just about self destruction , you widen the circle with it , endagering the lives of those around you and whether or not you are a victim of the habbit , if you hang out with a smoker long enough , you might also get to spend some extra time together bonding, in the cancer ward of a hospital in the next couple of years. it is for this reason that i am completely in support of a ban of smoking in public, for the smokers who believe this is an erosion of their civil liberties, all i want to say is ...you forget about the majority of others whose right to fresh air and health is being encroached upon by you, we could do a lot better without the tobbacco infested air we are encountered with everyday!
i am however in support of the creation of small chambers outside restaurants or theatres where these nicotine addicts can squeeze in and take a puff that will help them 'escape' from their load of troubles and help them get through the next hour ; a request, while you're in there please take george bush , scientists with the tobbacco induatry, male travellers of DTC buses, the entire VHP etc in with you (its the easiest way of getting rid of them!)
but more seriously , it is scary that smoking is equated with being cool and that young teens are pushed into a world of nicotine addiction because of peer pressure, it is tragic that families continue to lose members to deaths brought on by avoidable smoking induced diseases and it is horrifying to see the intricate and complex connections that exists between the tobbacco industry and governments across the world...
one only hopes that smokers will now make the smarter choice... that of opting for fresher air to inhale, for the problems that smoking leads to, for them and others are not those that can be puffed away ......

2006-03-19T02:29:00.000+05:30

RANDOM QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT THE IDLE MIND....

yes, so i'm fresh out of exams .. yep , that time of the year when you're mind wanders to every concievable thought,idea and theory but stays clear off anything that comes within a 2 mile radius of the subject matter of the exams!

so here are some random questions that came up while i was immersed in my studies...

a) when historians claim to have deciphered some ancient language(read dead and gone!) , how do they know what they have translated is right?

b) had anyone figured out the composition of the iron pillar at qutab minar ? if so what is it made of that prevents the corrossion? and how exactly did they figure this out of if they did ...?

on a lighter note....

has anyone seen worms having sex? (or for that matter birds...)

how is that people enjoy himesh reshamiyaa (with his nasal voice) singing?

small bags seem to be in vogue now .. the type that come just under your armpit ..2 ques..

a) what exactly can u fit in there considering the major space constaraints b) does the bag not stink considering it spends all day tucked under your armpit?!

why do mumbaikars love spitting (at a frequency of 2 spits every minute) ?

why does the guru of morality raj thakare put up his party posters next to the huge porn film posters of capitol cinema...?(does he really think people look at his face instead of the enlarged cleavage?)

what does kirpal of 'you kick my dog' fame really do for a living?

why is it that the british lady who stays in the building across look disgusted with life? also does this disgust have anything to do with the fact that she has all her shirts and pants in the same colour?!

why did the beegees enjoy singing in extremely high pitched voices? and why did they also enjoy wearing silver pants?

and finally for my classmates

why does ashok patnaik claim sitting in the sun makes him write faster? also why does he shout this out to the invigilator during the exam?

why does prashant change shirts in college .. at times in class!?

and finally what is it with avkaash and his conspiracy theories is there really something behind them .. or is he just another mel gibson-ish guy at work?!

as you can see ..these questions are ones i have delibrated upon a lot ...without any successful outcomes .. so if any reader of this blog has an answer.. please be nice enough to leave me an answer and put me out of my misery! :)

2006-02-08T22:34:00.000+05:30

LIVING LIFE....

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you.To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. to never simplify what is complicated and complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all ,to watch. To try and understand.To never look away. And never, never to forget.

-ARUNDHATI ROY , FROM 'THE END OF IMAGINATION'.

ps- wow this woman can write!

2006-01-18T21:12:00.000+05:30

THE BIG BOOBY TRAP!

we watch in wonder ( is that it?) at the growing fame and popularity of our very own 'jat' version of pamela anderson ...mallika sherawat!...whether we like it or not miss sherawat has got exactly what she wanted ... everyone talking about her !.. from the farmer chewing 'ganna' in his small plot of land in karnal, to college- going folk , to corporate bigwigs and even femenists!.. ...yes so thats what this post is about .. a few weeks back in one of our sessions in the feminism course i take , we ended up having a rather interesting discussion on mallika sherawat ...

the bunch of were divided on the issue ...actually not equally divided there were just two of us who were .. well whats the word for it .... not-to happy with miss sherawat.. the rest however seemed damned kicked about her! now i am not some damned prude ( 'hint' to smone!!) .. nor am i your right wing , saffron clothed ,hoarse voiced, protector of indian culture !!....my argument simply is that i think that its a little sad that in an attempt for a woman to be 'modern', 'liberated' and to lay claim to her own sexuality she must do so by way of objectifing herself....

..... the idea that several of my friends brought out was that mallika in the time and age of hypocrites wasnt one .. so you didnt hear her making statements that she kissed 17 times coz the 'scene demanded it' .. she did it for plain pure titillation ...and that if she felt like wearing clothes that revealed her 'assets'.. ( i use this for lack of a better word.. my vocabulary is weak i must admit!) it was her decision, and it reflected how even a girl from harayana could have modern ideals!...

okie first off .. kudos to mallika for being blunt . really i appreciate that.. much more than any of this hypocritical crap you have to put up with otherwise. but i have major problems with the rest of the argument ....is it then suggesting that i would be 'modern' if i roam around in a bikini even if i spend the rest of the day lapping up ekta kapoor's retrograde crap on television?!...can i lay claim to my sexuality only if i wear spagetti tops or low necks or mini skirts that reveal my finely shaped legs?!

once again this is not to suggest that i have anything against people who choose to wear these clothes .. my problem is if this is viewed as the only means of reclaiming your own life , of asserting yourself , your identity and as part of that your sexuality then we are all deluding ourselves.. how would you then explain arundhati roy ,brinda karat and the likes ? my own feminism prof .. possibly the most liberated person i have ever met in my life is never very 'modern' in her dressing.

its the ideas and your thinking that matters .. what you wear may or may not be an expression of that

....mallika sherawat in her movies ( i havent seen any .. relying on 2nd hand info here!) has apparently done nothing remotely modern ( in the true sense of the word) . she may dress so, but lets see her do something or say something that is not the rhetoric of some sexist script writer! what saddens me is that she has reduced herself on and off screen to nothing more than an object of lust and fancy. she chose her own route to success(?)....and that was her decision .. its just that i think i would have liked it much better if she could remain sexually liberated without having to bog herself down by these labels of 'sex object' that actually fit the bill... is it then any wonder that she is never ever taken seriously....

2006-01-15T01:16:00.000+05:30

SMALL STUFF ..... THAT MAKE UP THE GOOD LIFE!

there are those small, seemingly unimportant moments in life that go a long way in making up the good life, that hit you maybe a day or weeks later and make you smile ...sometimes its what happens thats important , at times the person you are with ...
i just had a whole bunch of them over the past few days!

early morning coffee in the foyer.. sitting on the bench.. basking in 9am sunshine .. the type that creeps up your back slowly ..spreading over like a hug!...and the conversation that goes with it ... choking with laughter over yesterdays seinfeld episode or just random talks over why economics is dry to some( me!) and not to others...

lit class .. the best thing that ever happened to me .. ever since i moved ..Shef.. on the top of the platform ...with her crinkly smile that makes her eyes disappear under folds of skin.. Shef in her read-aloud voice... emoting so well that she actually makes you laugh aloud ...Shef with her ...'Plath was screwed in the head!'....

goofing around in planet M outlets with friends ... listening to a single track over and over and over...... again! closing your eyes to escape ... letting the music fill you .. the rhythm reach right upto your toes .. and let that tingling take over and there you go... tap- tap .. on 'ding-a-ding-a-ding!'...........checking out prices of Cd collections that you know you will never be able to afford for another 5 years! ... silently cursing the damned fool who bought of that nirvana collection .. that you believed was earmarked for you!
....doing marlon brado imitations ..( muffled voice , hand on cheek ..et al)... in hindi!!!

..long bus rides at night that are not tiresome becoz they are spent explaining to your bro why socialism is still important and why ayn rand sucks! (although u still havent read her..!)

... and more coffee and conversation ...
aaah!....the good life!

ps- note to the only two readers of this blog i knw! .... its 1 am im too damn tired to run a spell check ... so if there are more spelling errors .. do what you did last time .. and whisper them in my ear during class! :)

2006-01-11T00:58:00.000+05:30

its been a great day!.. two classes early morning .. both centred around discussions on censorship and im glad to report a lot of people were against it .. ladies and gentleman we have a winner- ' a thinking generation ' !!..... im happy!

ps- also having a great hair day! :D

2006-01-08T00:42:00.000+05:30

WE DONT NEED NO THOUGHT CONTROL!

we are in the eye of a storm...'the enemy' as she is now known in some circles has managed to swing the courts verdict in her favour and the result is that you and i are now condemned to sit and watch televison meant for kids .. so if you thought the televison was an idiot box .. it just got stupider!.....as if we didnt have enough moral policing to begin with , here's dash of some more! the trouble with all this is that it just undermines people and their intelligence even more, what this new ruling basically says is that you are old enough to elect a government of your choice, even get married if you want but sorry you just not old enough to decide what you can watch on TV!

.....everyone is aware about the sex boom on television and yes maybe it isnt so great for young kids to be exposed to it all the time... but to think that such a ruling is the solution to all problems is to be naive. if anything, it will probably just lead to a boom in the pron film industry!
censorship is defenitely not the way out here ... and it never has been .. if anything it only stamps all over the creativity of a director. a simpler and far more intelligent decision would be to have a rating system instead ... and as far as sex on televison is concerned , maybe they could showcase movies or serials with sexually explicit content late at nights and ultimately leave it to parents to decide what or what not their child can watch!... does that actually sound so crazy .. it sure seems to be working in other countries!

what probably hurts most is that 'the litigant' is a professor from xaviers, that was up until sometime back a fairly liberal college...some ex-students wrote articles in national papers protesting this ruling especially on the grounds that xaviers was once the place of free love , drugs and rock and roll ...but such ideas just help the lady's case dont they....the reason a majority of people in college are angered by this ruling however is that xaviers in a large way embodies and encourages free thought, liberal thinking .....sadly however things have now started detiriorating.. it began with the dress codes, now this .. and we dont know where its going to end!

2006-01-04T22:42:00.000+05:30

brilliant. just plain pure pristine brilliance! we had the most enlightening and liberating discussion in our feminism class today. These are the moments when i 'know' why i moved out of DU...why i had to !

2005-12-31T17:22:00.000+05:30

okie last day of the year ... this is probably a good time to get started on that resolution list , the trouble with me though is that 2 weeks into january , i cant remember a thing i resolvedto do or i just get too damned lazy! im still the eternal optimist though and i shall not give up ! so here goes again ...

* stop chickening out of auditions!

* take out more time to read

* resume my NGO work

* check the short fuse on my temper!

* master my guitar

* save money(really this time!) and add it to the fund for 'my manual camera'- contributions are welcome!

by the way happy new year folks!

2005-12-29T01:42:00.000+05:30

the fog. coffee. a thick razai. 'jeera vellam'..... god i miss the winters in delhi. and its this pseudo- winter here in bombay that gets me thinking about it. sure its hell, when your winter nights( in del) are spent trying to multi-task.. keep yourself warm , study and keep awake especially worse when everyone else is tucked tight under razais.
i miss the bitting wind on early mornings that make you hate mondays even more, i miss the luke warm afternoon sun and steaming cups of tea and coffee that we used to literally live on!
i miss the afternoons i spent as a child with my brother and grandmom ... munching 'chikki' after lunch and soaking up the sun..
im doing good otherwise.... though a ticket to delhi right now wouldnt hurt!